She sits with her back against the wall, staring into nothingness. It feels so good to just sit, and stare. Her mind goes blank, and the pain goes away.
Pain is her best friend these days. She wakes up with a hole in her heart, and drags herself around, falling back into bed, falling into a dreamless sleep that is the only thing that keeps her sane. Because every day he gets further and further away. Every day the words exchanged are less. And every day his smile makes her want to cry.
He has no idea. She was so calm when he told her, freakishly calm. She pretended it didn´t matter. And it shouldn´t matter. They hardly knew each other, they were shy around each other. And yet, she misses him. Misses the way he smiled at her, the way he bit his lower lip, and pouted, the way he talked. "Silly girl" she thinks. How could this have happened to her? She´s so strong, so protected. And when she least expected, she fell head first. It wasn´t supposed to be like that. It was suppost to last longer, to feel stronger, to end on her terms. She has been humbled, finally. Finally she has had her heart broken, but now she can´t bear it.
She isn´t as strong as she thought.
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