Sweet Little Becca

"And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone."



I have a immensity of feelings, emotions, moments, memories whirling in my body, my soul, my brain. I desperately want to share them with you, I need you to understand every little detail. Nothing, and I mean nothing compares, nothing has ever felt so real, so amazing, and yet so painful. Nothing has ever lifted me up so high, nothing has ever made me fear the end with such intensity.
I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I can´t find the words. I want to spray paint it on walls, tattoo it on my body, I want to give this, what we have, a sense of eternity. I know nothing lasts for ever, everything changes, our perspectives change, just as our needs change.
But whatever the future holds, whatever paths we wander, no matter how far apart we roam, I will never forget this feeling, this amazing, wonderful, binding feeling.

It´s the most fantastic feeling, but strangely, sometimes it´s so good it´s bad.
I´ve given myself to somebody else, heart, body and soul. Given myself up, and that makes it scary. I can never walk out that door, never say goodbye and mean it. I just can´t. I love you more that I can even feel. It swells above, around, beyond me. It´s bigger than me. Sometimes I fell so lost in it that I just need to do something to remind me who I am, without you, for fear of becoming a part of you and ceasing to exist on my own. I know it is hard to understand the logic, but it is there, somewhere.

And more than a year later, I can´t live without you. I breath because you do, I smile when you smile, cry when you do. I care about every little thing. I watch you and my heart races, my mind goes blank and I thank whatever forces that lead me to you. We have come so far, and the road ahead is long and winding, but we make the rules. I promise I will never turn out the light.

Pretty pretty please, don´t ever ever leave.